Today I want to challenge that thinking paradigm and ask if it is the most abundant way to think, and when we think of abundance, do we think of others? Is winning an abundant thinking pattern for ourselves?
So lets look at the concept of winning: I win because I have prepared and I have become the best, I have put in the hours and I have succeeded against all odds. I am the winner, I am the hero and I am going to try my best to stay on top for as long as I can. Perhaps I can make it to retirement and will still be the best and the winner in everybody’s eyes when I retire. Wow would that be an accomplishment and I would be a real hero, a real winner in everybody’s mind.
But what if I came second; what if I never quite made it to the top; what if I almost won; what if I crashed out; got divorced and never got my mojo back?
We are taught as follows: Pass or you will Fail; Win or you will Lose; Climb or you might Fall; Keep going Up or you will come Down; Keep Motivating or you will be De-Motivated. So when you get married the world says you have won but getting divorced is failing, and what makes it worse is that we believe all the junk we are fed.
The biggest failing in the winning: “All about Me” culture is that there is no provision made for the person who comes second, the person who fails or the person who gets divorced.
So where is the abundance in losing and failing?
Well when we learn to take the eyes off ourselves, we become less selfish, we start to notice those around us and we look for the opportunities to help others improve, we learn how to accept failure and thus become a better role model to others – true abundance is thinking of others and their needs above our own.
Am I saying it’s okay not to win? Yes I am, remember to win you need a strong mental attitude. When you fail, you need a stronger mental attitude if you are to project the correct example for others, realising what you have learnt.
Am I saying be a good loser? Yes certainly you need to be a good loser, cause that is what everybody says you must be, the same everybody also said you need to pass and not get divorced. Marriage is wonderful, so is winning and passing, but what if the opposite happens? Being good loser is having an attitude that does not change if you lose, because winning or losing does not define you – who you are defines you and you are sure of who you are.
Are we living abundant lives by only thinking about winning?
How do we prepare ourselves and increase our Emotional Intelligence for disappointments?
Is there space in our lives for disappointment?
It is comforting to know that some people agree with us, but we only really grow because of those who disagree with us. I would love to hear your input so that we may all grow in this area.
I like what Charles Lynch said “You can’t be a winner and be afraid to lose.”