Leading with Empathy – ‘The Emotional Code’

Every day we are confronted with choices; what are these choices? If we would like to overcomplicate the process we could say that we have a myriad of choices, but to simplify the choices we actually only have one choice. Wow, that seems to be a bit limiting don’t you think? The reality is you can make the following choice: Do you want to be right or do you want to be kind?

Being right is just the pre-programming of our selfish nature and no choice is evident. When we decide to be kind (make the choice) we release a power and love and transformation can begin. In the illustration below you will notice what I have termed ‘The Emotional Code’Emotional Code.001We begin every moment by default – from the point of our EGO and the choice we have is either to remain right or choose to be KIND and show some love for others. Love is an action, not a feeling and the action that is needed from us is firstly to listen, listen with understanding and show empathy for those we are listening to. Empathy should not be confused with sympathy. Empathy is understanding the person’s situation and then at the right time to inspire them, and give them hope so that they can motivate themselves to reach a new emotional level. This new emotional level is the point when they can see hope for themselves (they have motivated themselves) and then begin to make a choice (transforming themselves from the point of being RIGHT) to also be able to show empathy for others.

This process has taught me that we cannot motivate others, we can only show them empathy and inspire them through firstly our listening and understanding. This process of caring (inspiring them from the level they find themselves) will in turn cause them to choose to be KIND rather than RIGHT and transformation can begin.

This is leading with empathy and the only way to transform anyone, it is not on your terms but always on their terms. Our empathy must always seek to understand their agreement with reality. Leadership after all is about serving and the only way we can ever change the world is by loving the world.

About RichSimmondsZA

Retired but still Disruptive
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6 Responses to Leading with Empathy – ‘The Emotional Code’

  1. jojiecuyagbo says:

    Good morning, Thank you Richmonds fr your inspiring right – ups. God bless! 


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  5. skipprichard1 says:

    Great post, Rich. That decision to leave ego and choose to be present, to be caring, to be focused on others truly changes the course of the leader. I’m wondering your thoughts on this question: is it possible to be both right and kind?


    • RichSimmondsZA says:

      Hi Skip
      Firstly I must apologise for only replying now.

      Your question is one that is often asked and my knee jerk reaction is – why do you have a need to be right and kind? The ego is asking you to be right and your higher self is wanting to be kind, that is a good deal of internal conflict.

      I have a saying that, if you say you are emotionally intelligent you are not, as you have not fulfilled the basic rule of giving up the need to be right.

      Those are the initial thoughts – however there are exceptions to any rule, you can be so kind that you actually bring out the narcissist in the other person. Then there is another school of thought where everything we do in life is manipulating other people for our own benefit and therefore the potential for conflict is extremely high.

      That is some of my thinking around the subject of being right and kind.

      Kind regards


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