We are told we have to be brave and strong, almost invincible. Yes that may have been true in the days of the caveman when our survival depended purely on our physical abilities; how efficient we were at hunting and defending ourselves. However the world has changed, but has our thinking?
Today life is about relationships … solely relationships and as much as we would like to kick and scream, that fact will never change. If we cannot be good at relationships we will struggle to find success and significance in life. What exactly do I mean and how can our weakness become our strength? Well just think of the proverbial ‘damsel in distress’ almost everyone will help her as opposed to the ‘macho guy’ who thinks he knows it all, only to find that he does not have a wheel spanner even though he might be strong enough to lift the car because he has no jack!
The interesting fact is that when we don’t know what to do, we try the ‘fake it till you make it’ approach thus putting distance between ourselves and people helping us. When we realise our faking was ineffective, we’re not as clever as we thought we were and we really don’t know – we feel too embarrassed to ask for help. We need to realise that admitting we need assistance and asking others for help is actually more of a strength than a weakness. Yes those around us are just as normal as we are and they also don’t know exactly what to do, therefore by asking them for assistance gives them the opportunity to feel significant by helping others.
Try to make yourself a little more vulnerable by asking for help and listening to the needs of others, as they may be too embarrassed to ask. You could take the approach of ‘let me see how I can assist you’ as opposed to ‘let me show you how it is done’. Being vulnerable will get you further than arrogance – just ask the damsel. Life (which is relationships) is about others and never about us. The sooner we realise that we are here for others and not ourselves, we will have better relationships and ultimately a better life.
Photo credit: JD Hancock / Foter / CC BY