Cowboys don’t cry and especially not in front of their horses. We don’t know a great deal about cowboys, but we do understand that horses mirror our emotions. So if you are upset, your horse will become upset and perhaps that’s why cowboys do not cry in front of their horses. Yet the tears pass, and although we may be able to wipe the tears away, our emotions stay and this emotional state will still affect our horse. Horses, like people, are emotional creatures and we tend to mirror the emotions of the people we care for.
So the bottom line is – whether we are trying to hide our emotions or not, the emotional receptors of others pick up on our emotions. This is what we call limbic or emotional communication, it is simply how we communicate and it makes up eighty percent of our communication.
Let’s be vulnerable, what do we have to lose?
Our ego (self-importance) makes up no less that 10% of who we are. Yet it seeks to control the remaining 90% of our authentic selves! When we choose (there’s that word ‘choice’ again) to suppress our ego and reveal our vulnerable authentic self, we become wonderfully attractive people. By keeping our ego out of the proverbial picture, others notice we are empathic – and we are freed up to listen intently and communicate effectively. This is because we chose to be less important and give up the need to be validated by others.
Vulnerability does not imply weakness. In fact it is proof of how strong and emotionally stable you are.
Due to our misunderstanding of emotions we perceive emotional communication and the vulnerability that goes hand in hand with it as a weakness. But the power of vulnerability is so unique and so seldom used that it is almost a super-power.
Tim Fargo has said that ‘we should never underestimate the power of being underestimated’ – we can only do this when we feel secure within ourselves allowing the other person to speak and get the limelight. Should we be the ones looking for the limelight, we can assume that we are insecure and emotionally unintelligent. That may sound harsh but it is the ultimate reality check. Before we judge others we should always observe how our thoughts and judgements play out in our own lives.