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I don’t forgive people because I am weak. I forgive them because I’m strong enough to understand that everyone makes mistakes. – Unknown

A powerful way to increase your EQ is to forgive yourself. No matter what happens to you, you always have two choices: you can choose to be offended, or you can choose to let it go. [ choice: a deliberate decision made by the mind as opposed to a knee-jerk reaction of the heart. ] If your choice was to let it go, you possess the ability to work through your emotions — evidence of high EQ.

If you choose to become offended, you need to ask yourself: Why do I have these negative emotions? Is it only this particular incident, or are there other incidences that are compounding the offence you’re carrying?

Try then to work through these emotions with the goal of clarifying the situation – and upon reaching that goal, you can begin the process of forgiving. Should you still be unable to let go of the offence, then seeing a supportive professional would be of incredible value to helping you through the process. You are such a wonderful and unique person – and you are well worth this leap of active faith!

The ability to be vulnerable, coupled with giving up the need to be right, allows us to exercise forgiveness. Without forgiveness, we can never truly move forward. First, forgive yourself – and not the other person. (When you forgive the other person, you are still holding in tooth and nail to the need to be right!) Once you have forgiven yourself, you can then seek reconciliation with whoever it is who offended you. If they are no longer around or do not wish to communicate with you, then you are still – essentially – free because you’ve let go of the offence by forgiving yourself.

True forgiveness is when you learn to forgive yourself and let go of all bitterness.

Emotional Intelligence is about the choice you make at that moment, make the right choices and your life will be more simple, more enjoyable and your decisions would have made the world a better place.

The above text is taken from my original text that appeared in Mug And Tweet – Social Communication in the Digital Age {BOOK}

Photo credit: symphony of love / Foter / CC BY

Do you recognise some challenges in yourself or your team that need improvement? Email me on for more on achieving the balance needed for success in your own life and in the leadership of your organisation.

About RichSimmondsZA

Retired but still Disruptive
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