A very well spoken gentleman once used the words ‘Conscious Awareness’ when I was discussing the subject of Emotional Intelligence with him. I have pondered these words for a long time as I know the power words can have. Let’s have a look at the idea of Emotional Intelligence or EQ, these words almost suggest that you have reached a milestone or a destination. Emotional Intelligence could be seen as arrogant whereas it should never be and the words could allude to superiority and fool us into thinking we have achieved a level of some kind. I am reminded of my owns words at this point and those are “If you think you are emotionally intelligent you are most probably not, as you have not fulfilled the basic prerequisite of EQ and that is … Giving up your need to be right!”
Conscious Awareness suggests a readiness as opposed to the sense of knowing that EQ may give us. The fact is we are never really ready for everything, some of us can just compose ourselves extremely quickly, but we are usually taken by surprise. Therefore we need to be aware of what may happen and yet be conscious that we need time to compose ourselves before we are ready. The state where we react before we have chosen to be ready is known as the ‘knee jerk’ reaction. We should be aware that we could have this reaction if we have not chosen how to react and we could regret our actions later. More importantly we need to realise that others may be giving us their knee jerk reactions and therefore we should be conscious of this fact so that we don’t overreact to them.
Being consciously aware will have benefits for us and we should always remember that we often misunderstand people and they too misunderstand us. When we are aware of this we are more flexible and forgiving. In conclusion I will choose to be consciously aware long before I ever think I have the possibility to be Emotionally Intelligent. Which of the two would you choose?