Why do we fear success?

The seeds of success are in all of us, yet we fear success more than we fear being poor! How is this even possible you may ask yourself? The answer often lies in our belief about ourselves and it started when we were very young. Besides growing up and hearing ‘NO’ thousands of times before we were 6 years old, we were always conditioned to fit in and never stand out. As a result we became just another average person.

Two things determine our success, firstly the opinion of others and then the opinion we have of ourselves.

It is truly a shame that the opinion of others control us in the way that it does. The first step to success is to stop believing your own thoughts about the opinions of others. The reality is they are so self absorbed that they are thinking of themselves and not you. If they did think of you, realise they don’t care about you and they are jealous of your potential. Yes we all have enormous potential, and if we can subdue that potential in others (which we do without realising it), they in-turn do the same and subdue our potential. We then think we are happy and unchallenged living average lives. That is the lie we live more often than not!

I don’t like rejection, can I become successful and avoid rejection? No you will need to face your fear of rejection. Firstly you will get rejected, embrace it as this is the only way you will ever learn. It is criticism, rejection and failure that cause us to grow, not the positive things like acceptance. When we are rejected we have two choices: 1) Go back to being average or 2) Learn and move on, realise that those who have rejected you have actually helped you, but they are not your people and that you will discover better friends and relationships.

Family and friends are your worst enemy when it comes to success. They don’t always consciously mean to be bad, but subconsciously they are jealous and like you to be average or a little less they they are. Don’t despise them for this, remember that they are unaware of their negativity towards you, as they are intrinsically lazy and your potential success will be a reflection on their inability to get into action and attain success. There is nothing you can do but to distance yourself as far as possible from these negative people in your life and in some cases you may need to cut all ties.

It may not always be possible to cut this type of person out of your life completely, so then you will need to recognise their narrow-mindedness for what it is, forgive it, but do not let it deter you from your own path. People who know you, or think they know you, will have placed you in some sort of box in their mind. When we climb out of this box, it makes people uncomfortable, and they can react negatively towards you, and either shun you or try to belittle you, so that you shrink back and fit into their silly box again. Again, I advise you not to fall into this trap. Stand firm, and keep your eye on your horizon. There’s no box that you need to fit in!

Success has its costs and you will need to pay the price of success along the way. Now that we have the negative friends and family out the way, let’s look at the other big influence in our lives… The media and the propaganda in the world.

Focus on your own success and what you need to achieve, watching television and reading the news is not going to contribute to your success in the slightest so ignore it. Just in case you think you will miss out, I promise you the negativity of what’s happening in the world will find you via the friends and family you forgot to cut out of your life, so always measure your friends and family by what they add to your life and not by the negativity they wish to share with you. Remember misery wants you as its friend.

Now that we have dealt with the opinion of others, let’s focus on the opinion we have of ourselves. If we are honest we probably think that we are not made for success, that we are too old, not clever enough or another million excuses that we can think of. This is because we are scared of our own potential and rightfully so, we are afraid of anything we don’t know. I can promise you that your potential is going to scare you and people will dislike you when you are reaching your potential, but that is their problem and never yours.

Will you make a decision to be successful, I mean a real decision that will scare you?

If that is your decision, don’t start with an excuse saying you don’t know what to do or how to do it. First start with cleaning out the friends and family who have no place in your life, then make a decision to accept you own potential and get on the road to success. You don’t need the approval of others to live the life that was intended for you.

I wish you every success, and a life without boxes or restraints.

Image: https://pixabay.com/photos/climbing-climber-mountain-climb-5466602/

About RichSimmondsZA

Retired but still Disruptive
This entry was posted in Inspiration, LEADERSHIP. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Why do we fear success?

  1. Adi says:

    I love this Richsimmond.


  2. Excellent piece. Thanks Rich.


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